


Hell’s Smithery (Things change sometimes i guess)

by PepNpaps



Series: Lazy omens (Au) [1]
Category: Good Omens, Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: And hungry af, Angel Crowley (Good Omens), Attempts at the funny, Demon Aziraphale (Good Omens), Fictional Religion & Theology, Fly anatomy and birth cycle, Humor, I need skeep, I tried black smithing and heck thought Zira would like it., Maggot babies, On our face with tears in our eyes, Other, Plot twist is somewhere, Surrogate Mom, That's a hint man, Theology, Theology with my own twist, We fall like Zira, Weird Plot Shit, no betas, reverse au, this shit be weird
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-25 04:22:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20718017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PepNpaps/pseuds/PepNpaps
Summary: When Raphael was captured and taken to hell, he wasn’t expecting to be a thank you for a wedding ring.Zira wasn’t expecting more to be given an angel. But heck, hopefully this angel can be a good apprentice.Huster and Ligur just want Zira to stop pining over that star angel that heaven keeps locked away in their creation dungeon.And Kôka (Kokabiel) justs wants to enjoy his week on earth.





	1. A quick plan.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think of this short and incomplete tale. I'm curious. Please I beg.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a quickie.

A beast, with Both a lion and goat head and a tail of a snake. Scars where’s a third head would be and stumps where a duo set of wings once held. Charred down and ebony from the centuries

A low growl rumbles from its throat as it step towards a he angels form. It’s muscles flexing as it lets out a hallowing roar. Falling from his hind legs to its four. Eyeing the angel with dull eyes. 

"It seems a gift has been given," the beast hums, earning a scoff from the angel. Humming to itself as it grasp Raphael's face, tilting it to side to side before letting go, dropping to his doors once more.

"Huster was please with the ring them,” the demon rumbles, shaking his mane as he adjusts his artificial leg,”told him he should’ve done it sooner, " a scoff left the beasts mouth as he rises to his hind legs once more.

"I swear Ligur was gonna stab the frog any century now," the beast mumbles to himself, earning a nod from the serpent and goat. 

"Um what are you doing to me beast?" The angel questions.

"Don’t worry angel, jussssst ssssssizing you," the serpent hisses, smirking at the other.

"We were in need of extra hands, with the apocalypse and all, " the goat blurts, as the chimera ties a leather apron around himself.

"Up you pop, put this on, " the goat hums as the beast throws a smaller apron to the angel. 

"Why don’t you just miracle the items ? It would help a lot," Raphael's questions, 

It’s my task, originally my punishment but since I adapted. Pissed them off, impressed them more So they made it my job, see I go to earth, check out what the humans have thought up, imaginative buggers. And improve it in hell.”

Oh,so you’ve used them a lot?”

"Not really, hence why I enjoy it, I’m not expected to use them and no one will doubt my strength, " The lion huffs, handing he angel a singlet and pants, "don't want your tunic getting dirty," the serpent mutters as the lion continues its rambles. 

"Besides, heaven has a blacksmith as well, we trade ores from time to time, on neutral grounds of course. "

"Of course," the angel mutters, changing into the offered clothes. Watching the beast before blurting out another question, "So, How did you earn your spot in hell" 

"..."all three heads of the beast turn to stare at the red head with wide eyes. 

"What?"

"Dear.." The goat sighs before continuing," you don’t ask that, some demons are touchy when it comes to their sins but I will say this, we under Bezbubs command, a demon of gluttony."

"Oooo okay,"

"Nough talking, let's get you started, these swords ain't gonna make themselves and Luci will have my head if o don't get them done. "

"Luci?"

"Our lord Sssssatan himsssself."

* * *

"Awe is your delicate fingies swore?" The lion purrs playfully.

"Yes! What the heaven, how are you not sore?!" Raphael humphs as the demon carefully collects the angel's hands. 

"Practice, don't worry you'll get used to it, I did, " the demons mutters, leading the angel to a rather clean room and a bathtub,"though it helped I had experience with weapons before. "

"Here, have a bath, cold water and ssssalt helpssss, " the serpent hisses, as the demons let's go of the angels hand to prepare the bath. Plopping salt and soap in the old thing before heading out. 

"Take your time, dear," the goat hums as they close the door. 

"Wot?" The angle questions as he undresses, sighing as he wonders to the bath and slips in, purring as he relaxes. 

Having the best bath in his life. 

The good shit. 

* * *

"Are you sure dear, " the demon questions softly. His eyes lowering as his ears flatter against his head. 

"Of course beast, come on now, I've been wanting to try this fancy bath you have," The angel smiles, taking the demons paw and pulling, causing the demon to stumble on his feet.

Walking through another set of large door, they were greeted by a large spring. Filled with lavender and other soothing smells one would not expect to be in a den of hell.

Slowly, Zira undresses, licking his maw nervously as he slips into the bath, groaning as the water washes over his body. 

Slowly, Raphael massages the oils into the demon's fur. Washing the grim from his fur. 

Earning a cute little purr from the beast.

"Wow," the more the angel scrubs the scoot away. The paler the beast becomes. 

* * *

The beast huff he looks over his corporation, round and bushy. 

Raphael however was in awe at the beast. He manage to pull of a look few could. With greying brown hair and an elagent dress.

It made the angel shiver in ways he had not known before. 

'I'm glad I went with a feminine effort,' the angel grumbles to himself. Fidgeting with his white tux. "Beast!" 

"Dear, it's been two centuries, just call me Zira," The man sighs but smiles at the red head. Offering his arm to the other. Which is accepted.

"No," he latter puffs, smirking as the duo begins to walk, "I think it quite suits you."

"If you say so dear, " the demon hums as they enter a small yet beautiful Japanese restaurant. the Demon basically vibrating with each step as they make their way to a table.

"Excited?" Raphael hums, smiling at demon. 

"We haven't had sushi in forever, I'm glad to finally show you!" The beast grins, his dimples and nose scrunching rather cutely. 

* * *

"W-What?"

"Look, it took me a but to get up here," a silent 'I'm sorry ' hangs in the air as Zira continues. 

"I know you can get to heaven from here so run along, " the demon huffs, rubbing his face wig a mutter, "kept yea'h long enough, it's best you head home.. I've been cruel enough to yea'h."

Smiling fondly at the demon, he places a kiss on Zira's cheek, rising a hand to rub the tears away from his grey eyes. "Thank you"

Taking a step away, the archangel creates a summing circle, turning around to the demon.

"Raphael"

"what?"

"Raphael, That's my name!" The angel shouts, vanishing in a flash of light. 

* * *

As Raphael shuffles through the documents of the fallen, his eyes widen as he spots an old yet cared for document. 

Aziraphale. 

The name was written, opening it, his breath is taken away as an image of the angel shifts in his mind. A cherub, one as pale yet wise as any. 

"Why did he fall?" 

"For giving his weapon away, creating war by doing so. The chain reaction was far to great. "

"He was made an example of, but in the process fell. His wings where removed first, then human and eagle heads. As we went to remove the cattle, he fell. "

"I-I remember that.." it was a grave day..

tremendous day" the book hums,"the demon begged for forgiveness, for the all mighty to 


	2. Official chapter 1  [New N Improved.]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically the story but better written.  
I'm sorry to everyone who thought this was a new chapter. Well, technically it is, it expands on the already written chapters while adding some new spices.  
Enjoy my brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DIDN'T MEAN TO POST IT YET AAAAAAAAAAAA, OH fuck it I'll fix it later, for now enjoy. I'm not feeling the best.
> 
> Gosh, I didn't expect this silly tale to blow up ¤ω¤ I'm flattered so many people liked it. 
> 
> And a special thank you to everyone who left kudos and who commented.
> 
> Also!! I'm going to try and set myself an update date. Since I've completed school for now. I will aim to update every second Wednesday. Hopefully. (´･_･`) but don't hold me to that. I'm bad at stuff. 
> 
> Also have a thing  
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDqx9fXNdIfjSuZOEUJpgGwZhFzByU-c7

Before him stood a beast.

A perverted form of what once was a holy.

Narrow eyes hidden beneath a mangling mane.

Nubs twitch where wings once stood, burnt by hell's eternal flame. [1]

"W-What-," The angel gasps, shuffling their form back. Gasping before covering their mouth.

'_<strike>Oh no, oh no, no, no, no, not here, oh what the heaven is going on!'</strike>_ Raphael's mind races. His eyes fluttered to the ghastly beast's form. 

Rotten flesh that was once a right leg cling to a large rusty pike, croaking as the beast rises to its hind legs, shifting their hands behind their back as they begin to pace.

A thick, teal serpent sways with the grace of a branch. Ignoring the two mammals as they chatter. Lazily their eyes linger towards the frightened angel, the sight causing the snake with smirk.

"Tsktskts, they sssssseem to have woken," the beast's serpentine tail whispers, though it's counter parts seem to ignore the serpents hisses as the duo conserve absently.

_ **Tnk, thk, tnk** _

"Appears we have been left a gift," The feline head grumbles, it's ears flattened against their head at their counterpart pipes up.

"Huster must've been pleased with the ring, we have been complaining a tad," The ox points out, tilting its head to the side.

** _Tnk, Tnk, tnk_ **

_'What the fuck this BEAST playing at?' _Rapheal wonders with a sneer. Fighting with the fear within him.

"Told him he should’ve done it sooner, " The lion scoffs, shaking his head as they drop to their fours once more, stretching the mangled, leg behind him, groaning in pleasure as a sickening pop echos in the large room. 

Earning a flinch from the angel, 'Such foul things, fills one with detestation.' Raphael snarls within his mind. 

  
"I swear, Ligur was going to either Flay him or fuck him by centuries end," the lion mutters with a flick of his round, chipped ears. 

“But what are we going to do with _THEM, _” The Ox snouts in irritation, stretching a grotesque towards the angel, the numbs on their back fluttering with agitation, “Riel won’t be pleased..not one bit..."

“Riel won't find out, " the lion snaps back at the oxen head, though the pair both seem displeased at the notion. 

  
  
“Mammellssssss, our guessst is awake," the serpent shouts above the noise of the two heads.

"Ah, it appears you have woken dear," the ox hums, smiling gently as they trail towards the angel, rising a hand [2] cupping the angel's chain and tilting it from side to side. Removing his hand a moment later, muttering incoherently to himself in a language that never was and never will. 

"What are you planning at Beast, " The angel spits, stumbling away from them , earning a chuckle from the serpentine head.

"Don't fret dear, we are sssssimply sssssizing you up, " the reptile coos, flicking it's forked tongue at the angels nose, causing the latter to flick away.

"What th- " Raphael flinches away from the scaly thing. 

"Ngk" the beast's hand tugs at their tail, clamping her fingers around the snake's snout in a firm grip, silencing it's senseless hissing.

"What-" the ox grunts with distaste before continuing, "-it means is- "The ox begins, snorting at the serpent with a side glare "-Your tunic. It will be destroyed after a days work. "

"Work? what do you mean by work?" Raphael inquires, this eyes narrowing at the demon. 

A snarling chuckle left the felines maw as its ox counterpart snorts, the carved bone rattling from the pressure, "You'll be joining us in the smithery. working for your keep." m

"That is all? You're not going to torture me? or do something hellish?" Raphael spits back at the fowl demon. 

"Oh hell no, " the ox huffs out a laugh, shaking his head, "we don't have time for that."

"Besssssidesss, we already have-" The serpent begins before the ox quickly cuts them off with a snort, “Let’s get you ready, hm?" The demon clasps their hands together in a quick clap before falling onto their fours once more. 

"Let'sssssss hope you take to ssssssmmmithing," The serpent whispers, smirking at him as the now quadruple beast lumbers over to a large, oak door. 

Opening it with ease, the lion huffs at Raphael with distaste, "Just a warnin' it's a tad hot in there." 

Glancing down at the stone floor, ancient rune glimmer in a forbidden language. Stepping across the invisible barrier . Raphael was greeted with was searing heat and a sight more fit for the descriptions of what many humans would interpret as hell. Magma flows around towering stone pillars, intricate symbols dance along the walls. Stalagmites of obsidian tower above the two eternal beings, seemingly supporting the entirty of hell. 

"Wow.." The angel foudn himself gawking at the sight before him. Also ineffable in nature as lava flows from an unknown place. 

"Bessst not to touch anything, " The serpent warns dispute the almost smug grin,"We know not of your, ressssisssstance, don't want you getting hurt." 

"Which is why you will be working here, " The ox snorts, gesturing to an aged yet cared for iron anvil. The station was small, seemingly untouched by a smither’s hands in eons. Repheal's gasp lingers over the small station. His wings ruffling underneath his 

“Used ta’ be more…" 

Forgetting the demon's presence beside them. Repheal startles at the gentleness of their voice. Fliching at the beast before turning to face them. 

“Wha-?

“Remints of heaven’s very own smithery..” The ox sighs, breathing a soft huff as the wonder to the forge. Their gaze distant with memories unknown. However the feline’s ear flicker at the angel as it grumbles at the other, attempting to distract them from a time unknown. 

“Over ‘re healer. You’ll need to know this. “

“Okay. “

* * *

"Knew I shouldn't of listened to a demon!! " Raphael huffs, staring down at his blistering, blacken fingers.

"Oh, quit your complaining, " The feline grunts, slamming two newly forged battle axes into a strange stone tomb, "A0in't the only one who is sore,” The feline shakes their head with a puff of smoke, “lucky we chose to lighten the load.”

"Awe Angel's sss fingiesssss are sssssore, " The serpent scoffs with a rattling hiss. Whilst the ox snorts at the two carnivores, "Ignore them, meat eaters are like that, " The oxen head huffs. Taking Raphael’s hand within their own. Allowing the angel to take a close look at the demon's back.

Raphael swallows back a gag. Bones where wings once stood, like jagged monoliths. With flesh more skin to tar then flesh, encircling them. Matted feathers clung to what little space allowed whilst down feathers of lead poke through in a little grey bush.

Round, metallic rings hang from the beast’s back, trailing down their spinal cord. Rotting rope still hanging from the highest point.

'Lord above... ' the angel gasps. 

“Now, don’t be like that, “the cattle exclaim, spooking the angel from their observation s. Something akin to a smile slips onto their face. 

"A bath will do you good," the ox hums, letting go of Raphael's hands. 

* * *

The misshapen demon lets out a sigh, sitting down at the large stone table, collecting a large, [dried piece of skin and a quill made of the few feathers the fallen angel bares. He began to write.

"I'm surprised a demon can write such as yourself cans write, " Raphael comments, his disdain lingering upon his lips as he stares at the deformed beast. 

"How elssssse are we going to make contractssss ?? " the serpent hums with a irritating hiss, "Verbally?" The serpent scoffs, earning another scowl from the tired angel.

"Don't you just miracle it up or something? " The angel suggests.

"Miracles don't work down here, else we'd have idiots running amuck," the lion grunts, licking its maw with fain disinterest. “But, while you’re here, best tell yea’h.” The feline begins, setting down the makeshift nib upon the aged writing desk.

"So, Why is it signed, 'Your's Gadreel?'" Rapheal wonders with hum.

Abruptly the beast stills it's writing hand. The hackles on it's back rising with what one may call agitation, or perhaps sorrow. 

"That name is anathema to me, you will not speak it again." 

Unaware of the demon's increasing agitation, Repheal pipes up once more. His wings ruffling 

“Why no-" 

"̵̢̡̧̛͓̙͍͉͔̭͔͙͙͍̪̤͍̠͖͉̦̫͍̮̝̗̥͉̒̑͛̈̊͛̿̅̎͛̚͜͝ͅͅT̸̛̹̼̥̭̠̻͚͌̄̋̔́͌̌̏̾͋͆͊̇͗͗͐͋̿̾̐̽̚̚͝͝͝ḩ̵̢͓̠̖̭̻͍̪͔̫̮͍̯̯̰͉̙̘̖̦͋̎̏o̷̡̡̲̪͇̙̰͚̥̮̮͕͖̙̭̣̱̫̠̳͍͚͉̬͇̱̯̥̮̝͍̓̂̈́̈́̓̌̈́̆͛̊̊̍̑͂͊͘̚ͅs̶̡̛͖̠͈̘̥̝̉͐̎̇̈̀͑͘͘̚͜͠ͅé̵͔̞̩̬̠͖͉̖̩͔̦̙̆̇̐͑̆͊̈́̇͛̎̎̋̈́̅͌̍̅̊̂̃̍̚̚͜͝ͅ ̸̖͖̜͈̬̺̼̳̖̹̝̬̰͚̔̐͆̊̀̏͛͐̋̎̉̏́̽͌͘͠͠͠ͅŗ̶̡̡̨̡̭̯͚͈̣͔̪͉̘̥̮̼̲̪̖̥͔̲̥̗̉̋͆͜͜ͅē̷̢̛̛̛͚̝͇̙̗̞͉͉̊̐͋̍̿̉̔̽̉̊͛̈̒̈̆̃̆̓̾̃̉̕͘͘͜͝ͅă̸̢̖͍̠͚͙̼̪͔̙̯͐̄͛͌̂̕̕͝s̵̢̰̟̺͇͔̼̖̳̺̫̣̋̈́͆̉̓̃̽̾͘̕͝ͅͅǫ̴̛̞̠̭̝̬̫͕͕̟̥̺̩̮̹̮͔̭͎͆̒̒̈́͛̔͊̈́͗̊̅͆͝n̷̡̢̨̥͉̰̩͖̟̘̪̙͈̼̘͚͕̖̗̩̠̬͔̾̂̆̾ͅͅs̸̢̡̳̫͇̤̠̯̙̦̙̹͎͖͍͙̞͕͖̙̝̙̤̆̎̐̅̈̀̑͘͝ ̵̮̗̹̳̼͕̻̈̍͌͂͑͐a̶̢̨̛͍͖͕̰̳̭̣̬͔͍̠͔̜͔͍̳̽̎̇̃̈́̏̅̇̽́̈́͛̓̃̃̈̽͗͌̿͜͝͠͝r̵̯͓̩̫̈́͗̋̔̀̄̋̾̍̔̓̀̒̚̚͠ȇ̴͎̫̽̈́̇̈́̒̓̀̓̾̔͗͆͂̂̏̉̕ ̵̧̲̬͙͉͕͚̯̹̭̲͇̪̄͆̈́̐̅͋͒̇̀̔͂̐̒̽͂̏̐̔̀̅̃̄̓̌̕̕͠͝ͅͅm̴̨̢̨̖̭͓̖̤̫̳͇̠̰͇̯̠͙̭̤̠̟͓͗̇̊̓͑̏̄̔̾̇̈́̓̐̂̐̚͠ỳ̸̧͚̜͎̤͎̙̻͕͚̲͈͚̹̱̬̪̹̻͎̗̘͒̂̈́̾ͅ ̸̨̨̢̧̨̧̳̱̬̝̟͖̠̱̼͖̜̖̪̖͈̟̮͇̳̻̖̱͇͛̃̈̓̔̊͜ͅǫ̸̧̢̲̠͎͈̗̬̟̩͙̖̝̣̞̠͎̹̲͖̩͊͛̾̈́͊͝ͅn̶̟̝͉̈́͊̃̾͆̽̒̎͐̓́͑͗̍̈́̈́̉͗͋̀̚͠ę̵̥̗̦̳̬̭̟͕̫̻̪̺̟̗̰̹̮͚̙̉͑̀̇̓̿̃͘͜!̵̨̨̧̧̛̹͓͙̫̯̦̮͍̳̟̳̯̲̮͎̙̝̹͛̔̆̓̈́̅͒̿̊̓̐̅̃̄͂̿͗̇̋͆̏̏̕̕͜͠͝͝͠ͅ"̸̝͋͒̈̒̊̄̒͑̇̅͘̚͘͘͝

The duo state with little chance for debate or question. Their hands slamming into the stone desk before them as they rise to their feet. The beast stood with wide, unnerving eyes, their mismatched heads finally turn to face the angel straight on. Revealing their conjoining faces.

‘Oh Heavens above!” Repheal gasps as a deep, unnerving feeling curls within him. A familiar feeling flooding them. 

* * *

It was as the demon said. For a week, Raphael was alone for a week. In solitude whilst the tri-headed demon was venturing on whatever it did on earth.

So, for now we leave the slumbering angel. And follow the demon. For a moment at least.

No longer within the grotesque form he once was. He bore an ageing body, an obvious limp in his step as he walks with a cane of ebony.

Manicured hands slip along the rail as they walk along the path which every fibre of his being knew. With a steady huff, the demon made his way through the bustling streets of Soho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1] A rare mercy from Asbeel. 
> 
> [2] A strange morph between hand, hoof and paw. Clawed at the end, harden from centuries of labour. They were stone like in appearance.
> 
> [

**Author's Note:**

> [1] Okay so apparently Chimera means female beast but all depictions, he lion head is male, so I gotta ask why? Soooo I'm taking a page out of my own story and Zira just doesn't care bout gender. 
> 
> ____ 
> 
> So I'm sitting here and typing when I get an idea. But what is he be Sphinx and gosh dang it I can't choose. So I may do another one.


End file.
